I believe in feminism and I identify as a feminist, but sometimes when confronted with some of feminism's ideals, especially when it comes to relationships with men, all I can think is “blah, blah, blah.” Some schools of feminism condescendingly pat those that favor “traditional” values on the head (“there there, yes, your ideals are valid!”) and then snigger behind their backs because clearly, no self-possessed woman with her wits about her could possibly ever need anything from a man! No! We are independent ladies now! Rubbish. Sometimes, relationships and the things we need and want from each other aren’t as subversive as some schools of feminism would have us believe. Not everything is designed to beef up the patriarchy and undermine equality. I, for one, definitely want the man I’m with to possess certain qualities that make some people go “But you’re a feminist!” Yep, I’m a feminist, and sometimes–For A Change!–I’d like to be taken care of by a man. Aside from the regular
There are people you will always wait for. You want them to be a part of your life, to approve of your decisions, to love you in the way you love them. Even if they say, in so many words, “I am not interested,” you will choose to interpret it as a temporary speed bump instead of the road block it was intended to be. You can lose months, years, waiting for someone who has already made it clear they have no desire to catch up. You wait for them largely because you think that, in the time between now and when they realize they actually care about you, you’ll be able to change into the person they likely want you to be. You’ll be wittier, thinner, happier , and more fun. You’ll have become the person you know you’re capable of being, and they will have magically realized that they were wrong. There are people who make you wait. Worse still than those for whom you wait of your own volition, these are the people who know they have a certain amount of control and influence over your life a